Tips for Managing Overwhelming Anxiety

todolist postI woke up this past Monday extremely anxious. Anxious about going to work, anxious about having enough time to finish all of the tasks I needed to finish at work, anxious that the tasks not only wouldn’t get accomplished but that they wouldn’t get accomplished well. I woke up anxious also about non-work stuff. Over the weekend I realized that I am leaving for Europe in less than two weeks and have soo much to do before then. Packing, laundry, planning, double-checking that I have everything I need for the trip.

Other life tasks piled on this list as I thought about how I still need to schedule the colonoscopy and wisdom tooth-removal surgery I’ve been putting off for months. I also got summoned for jury duty the day after I return from Europe and need to figure that out. And something that was bogging me not only in terms of anxiety but making me feel weird emotionally was that I needed to figure out a pet-sitting situation for my newly adopted dog while I am gone. I had booked this trip long before I adopted her, and I adopted her with the understanding that the guy I was seeing at the time would take care of her while I’m gone. Well that relationship didn’t work out and thus I lost my hopeful pet-sitter.

All in all, my brain felt like it was going to EXPLODE with the amount of things I needed to accomplish.

With this anxiety my sleep, too, has suffered. I’m not a good sleeper, and I never have been. But in times where I’m particularly anxious I have restless sleep or very vivid, haunting dreams that leave me waking up exhausted rather than rested.

Now that it’s Saturday, and I’ve worked through the week and worked through the anxiety, I want to share some tips that got me to the less anxious place that I am currently at now.

1. Write a daily to-do list

When the source of your anxiety is having what seems like a surmountable amount of things to do on your mind, one of the best things you can do is get those thoughts out of your mind and on to paper. Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and write down everything you need to accomplish this week, or everything you need to accomplish in the future that is currently in your mind. Write one thing per line. Next, prioritize these items in order of what needs to be accomplished sooner to what can be accomplished later. If throughout the day you think of more things that are not on this list, add them to the list. As you accomplish things on your list, cross them off. Crossing items off a to-do list literally releases serotonin (a feel-good hormone) and your brain will elicit a feeling of relief.

2. Adjust your Mindset

Remember, life happens one day at a time. You can only attend to one task at a time, and you can only be expected to accomplish one thing at a time (unless you’re multi-tasking, which I don’t really recommend you do). Adjust your perspective and remind yourself to take things one day at a time.

3. Move your Body

Moving your body will help to relax your mind. I’m usually ok at getting enough movement in my day, but this week I went on two walks during my workday as opposed to the usual one walk I schedule in my day. Moving your body increases blood flow and oxygen distribution throughout your body and to your brain, and will help you to feel less anxious. Moving could also help you to pass off anxious energy. High intensity workouts like running or boxing allow you to transfer your anxious feelings through your movements, and also clear your mind. Think of your anxiety like energy that can be transferred, and punch (a punching bag!) or run it away.

Although there are more tips for dealing with anxiety, in this post I wanted to focus on those that helped me this past week, and that can help specifically for the type of anxiety where you feel overwhelmed by your to-do list.

I hope these tips can be useful for you! And feel free to comment or email me if you have any questions:)


An Introduction to Stress Well

An Introduction to Stress Well

All of us have dealt with stress at some point in our lives, so we might as well learn how to experience that stress in a healthy way. People, books, and websites tout ways to reduce stress, avoid stress, or compartmentalize and ignore it. But no matter which of these methods you attempt, avoiding stress is not the solution. I believe that a more effective way to cope with stress is to find ways to examine, evaluate, and manage stress well, rather than avoid it.

Everyone experiences stress at some point in their lives, if not daily or often. Daily stressors are caused by various factors like concerns about money, difficulty with a task at work or school, trouble communicating with a family member or friend, or generalized worry about the future. Larger stressful events like losing a job, moving, losing a spouse or family member, or dealing with a serious health problem can cause more acute stress responses, and might potentially confound the amount of stress experienced in your daily life. The point is, in different shapes, sizes, and intensities, everyone has encountered stress. You are not alone in your experience of stress, and by sharing both what I’ve learned through classes and research about stress, as well as the ways that I’ve coped with stress personally, I hope to help you feel less alone in this journey.

Since the beginning of time stress has acted as a survival mechanism to nearly every living thing. If you think back to the hunter-gatherer time of human existence, a stress response is what would result from a stimulus, and a potentially dangerous stimulus, and would motivate a human to react in a way to escape that danger.  Acute stress has helped organisms to survive imminent dangers while daily stress has motivated organisms to engage in activities necessary to survival, like acquiring food, water, and shelter, or engaging in activities that will enhance their survival, like going to work every day. As a motivator or driver, stress has served a role in organic and human existence since the beginning of time, and it is not going away. It cannot be avoided and it cannot be eliminated from the body. We might as well learn how to deal with it.

Finally, stress is not always bad, and it doesn’t always signal danger. According to the Yerkes-Dodson law, established in 1908, there is an inverted U-curve relationship between pressure (or arousal) and performance. This law states that as physiological arousal increases, so does performance, but only up until a certain point. When pressure reaches a certain point and becomes too high, performance will start to decrease.  By this law, a small amount of stress or pressure might act as a motivator and is correlated with increased performance, but only up to a certain point of stress, after which it might become harmful to a person mentally, physically, and emotionally.  The more we understand about stress in general, in addition to our unique experiences of stress, the better we can cope with it.

The fact that stress can reach a point in which it becomes harmful to human health is the reason we have been seeking ways to manage and cope with it. Facing stress head-on might be the best way to manage it both in the moment and in the long run. However, there are no quick fixes. From my experience, the practice of facing stress head-on is both terrifying and exhilarating, but you will be stronger emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually, because of it. I hope from visiting this site, of anything you gain a new perspective on managing stress, and learn that stress is not always the enemy. If you can work to understand your stress, and work with it rather than against it, you can learn to stress well.

How I Trained My Mind to Cope with Panic Attacks

I was standing, facing my boyfriend, in the 34th street subway station in New York City. The fluorescent lights shone above my head and subway cars darted left and right on the tracks around me. It was summer in New York City, so it was humid, sticky, and stuffy. Hundreds of people were squished into the narrow halls of the subway station waiting eagerly for the next train.


Out of nowhere, I was struck with a hot flash, and my vision shifted, showing my world off-kilter. I broke out in a raging sweat and my vision wasn’t correcting itself. My knees shook and I couldn’t hold my own weight anymore. I fell to the ground as my heart beat with an intensity so frightful I was convinced I was dying. So convinced that I was dying, I muttered a goodbye to my boyfriend, as he cradled me in his arms on the filthy wooden bench to wait out whatever was happening to me. I looked at him desperately and told him to call 911 because I knew I needed help.


Contrary to my belief, this was not a heart attack. It wasn’t until several weeks later that I learned what I had suffered was in fact a panic attack.


But, how could I have a panic attack if I wasn’t panicked, I wondered. In that moment, preceding the episode, I wasn’t nervous or worried, or feeling particularly scared about anything. I had always thought you needed to be in a state of stress or anxiety in order to have a panic attack…


I was wrong.


This panic attack came out of nowhere and it came with a vengeance. It attacked so strongly and screamed at me so loudly that I was instantly awoken to the fact that my anxiety had gotten out of my control. Having just started graduate school and going through a break up with whom I thought was my forever love, I was understandably distraught but I thought I had been doing a good job of keeping my pot of anxiety from boiling over.


This panic attack was literally a wake up call. I knew I needed to start taking control of my underlying anxiety, because ignoring it only worked as a coping mechanism for so long.


Panic attacks are terrifying, and unfortunately they seem to be quite common. Although there is no cure or quick-fix solution to lessening the symptoms or reducing the occurrence of panic attacks, there are techniques that can help.


In facing my panic attacks and anxiety in general I think the best thing I ever did for myself was seeking therapy. I am such a believer in therapy that I now recommend it to any and everyone. You don’t even need to have a diagnosis to benefit from a third party professional helping you out with your problems.

I resisted the idea of seeing a therapist since I was 16. I think it’s because I wanted to be able to handle my problems on my own, and to prove my own strength in a way. Seeking therapy, to me, was surrendering to the fact that I needed help I couldn’t provide myself. But I’m so glad I did. And I think if you find the right therapist that practices the kind of therapy that is right for you, it will provide you some relief and help you to navigate this world with more ease.


This article isn’t about therapy, however. It’s about shorter-term techniques I enacted to help me deal with panic attacks in the moment to buy myself some time before I could see a therapist.


Since I’ve faced panic attacks head on, and have grown successful in fending them off and calming my body naturally, I want to share my experience.


I have dabbled in self-experimentation and playing detective to my own or others’ medical problems from a young age. When I was younger, my ER doctor father would consult me with challenging medical cases that needed a creative solution and I would ponder over them for weeks. I was obsessed with the scientific method, and this likely inspired my constant self-experimentation and academic pursuit of Epidemiology.


Growing up, whenever I was faced with an ailment, it was a new challenge for me to solve. For example, in college I used to suffer horrible, debilitating migraines with auras. Yet, after testing out dietary modifications and discovering that vegetarianism reduced my migraines, I haven’t had a migraine since.


Similarly, when I had my first panic attack at 22 years old, opposed to the idea of daily anxiety medication (another way of acknowledging that maybe I had a condition or needed help I couldn’t give myself), I instead decided to try different mental techniques at the onset of a panic attack, or for occurrences of heightened anxiety. With dedication to these techniques, I have now been panic attack-free for 4 years.


As I’m not a medical doctor or a therapist, I can in no way properly endorse the techniques I’ve tried, but they’ve worked for me in combatting my anxiety and panic attacks and so if you are willing to try something different, then my advice is here.


Since I had my first panic attack in a NYC subway station, I understandably was scared to revisit that setting where I could be susceptible to it happening again. Instead, I thought that if I could slowly get myself to be ok and not nervous in a subway station, that I would win against anxiety. I took it on as a challenge and actually started to spend more time in subway stations. I’d sit on a bench and take the time to examine myself internally. How was my breathing? How was my heart rate? What was I thinking about? How was I feeling? Was I nervous? If so, what’s triggering me to be nervous?


Immersing myself in the setting that had previously brought on a panic attack was risky. But I kept telling myself that a panic attack would not kill me, and I needed to understand why it happened. Evaluating my body and my mind while in the subway helped me to understand the way I was feeling in this environment. I understood my triggers, which was being in a cramped space and feeling claustrophobic and stuck. I also came to understand that I was over stimulated by the combination of people, lights and sounds.


As I came to learn what was making me anxious, I felt that I had a better grasp on the anxiety, and that it was something that could be managed. It was like the anxiety literally shrunk from a large black cloud to something that could fit in the palm of my hand. It was a manageable size and I was bigger and stronger in comparison to it.


After taking the time to learn and understand my nervous triggers, instead of avoiding these triggers, which would seem intuitive, I actually sought to immerse myself in them. I think this practice is somewhat akin to immersion therapy, but I felt stronger facing my fears head-on rather than avoiding them, and I felt like they had less power over me and like I was the one in control.


Granted, facing the sources of my nervousness was not easy. I would still suffer from pre-panic attack symptoms while riding the subway quite often. I realized I needed to go a step further than just understanding my symptoms.


When symptoms of anxiety and pre-panic attack, like feelings of hot flashes, band-like headaches around my head, shallow breathing, increased heart rate, and flustered thoughts would set in, I decided I had to take myself somewhere else. Not physically, but mentally.


I would close my eyes, and imagine myself on a wide, expansive, airy beach with soft warm sand and crystal blue waters. The ability to create this other world and imagine myself in it provided me with so much relief. I could transport from the bright, loud, crowded, sticky subway car to a place where I could catch my breath.


Seeing this place in my mind allowed my body to follow suit and relax. My chest would open up so I could breath again, my heart rate would slow down, and my muscles would unclench. I was offered relief although physically in a place that caused me stress.


Several months later, I was watching a war movie in a large dark theater, where the loud banging, flashing lights, and commotion of the movie simulated a situation similar to the subway station. I felt a band wrapping around my head and just thought it was some kind of headache coming on until my world tilted and I started hyperventilating. It all happened so fast, and again, I wasn’t actually nervous about anything. The movie itself got my heart pounding, but I had never been affected by a movie like that previously.


I gathered the strength to remove myself from the theater and sit on a bench to collect myself. Luckily a friend was there to help me as I felt absolutely out of it. It felt like I had been hit in the head by a baseball bat and I wasn’t sure what was real and what wasn’t. Although the episode only lasted about 20 minutes I was exhausted for the rest of the night. It felt like I had just ran a marathon and weathered a storm so intense that I could sleep for days.


This experience gave me further insight to my anxiety. It helped me to figure out that I get nervous in cramped spaces, not just subway stations. It helped me to figure out that I get triggered by bright lights, flashing, and loud noises, and not just those in the subway station. Although painful, the experience didn’t kill me and it provided me more information to understand my anxiety and the source of these episodes.


Ultimately, by continuing to immerse myself (in doses) in the places that caused me stress, I was able to face that stress head on and, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I conquered it, but I did decrease it to a manageable level. And that was enough. It was enough to get me through the moment and the collections of moments that turned into days, until I could seek the professional help I needed.


Overall, I would summarize my techniques for managing panic attacks in the following ways:


1.     In the moment, sit or lie down. Look around you for:

·      5 things you can see

·      4 things you can touch

·      3 things you can hear

·      2 things you can smell

·      1 thing you can taste


This technique is called grounding, and it will help you to feel more in control of your environment. This is a good technique to help you in the moment, before you start to understand what triggers your panic attacks.


2.     Try visualizing a safer space

·      This technique is also a more in-the-moment technique, in which you close your eyes and imagine yourself in a space that doesn’t cause you anxiety, space in which you feel comfortable and in control. For me, that space is an open, expansive place. Potentially a clear beach or a large field of dewy grass. Let your mind take you to that place. Once you feel like you are actually in that place, your mind will feel more relieved and you will notice that your body will relax too.

3.     Be aware of your anxiety.

·      Be a student to your anxiety and the environment you are in when you feel extreme nervousness or a panic attack coming on. Observe and take note of what situations might cause increased anxiety. What exactly is making you anxious, or what in your environment is causing you to feel certain ways? Try recording these observations in a notebook.


4.     Understand your anxiety.

·      Once you’ve become awake and aware of your anxiety, you can take steps towards understanding it. Try to address questions like why are these situations making you nervous or anxious? Answering a question like this might be rather difficult… and honestly you might not be able to understand it on your own. This is a place in the process where a therapist might be able to help you in finding relief from, or avoiding, panic attacks. Also ask yourself about the feelings accompanying or preceding the anxiety.

5.     Sit with your anxiety.

·      Once you are aware of your triggers and understand why you are triggered to feel anxious, try sitting with your anxiety. For me, this is incredibly painful. But that pain only lasts about 90 seconds, and once you’ve made it through, you’ll feel somewhat invincible. For me, it felt freeing. Knowing that I could sit with my anxiety and it wouldn’t destroy or kill me helped me to feel like I could mange it.

6.     Embrace or Immerse yourself in you anxiety.

·       This technique doesn’t work for everyone. Like I explained earlier, I personally saw my anxiety as a challenge to be addressed. Not everyone will have this mindset or see the need to approach their anxiety in this way, and that’s totally fine! By embracing your anxiety I mean going back to those situations that provoked panic, sitting with the anxiety, and fending it off. Doing so has helped me to re-frame my anxiety as something that I can control, rather than something that controls me, and as something that I have the power over. Feeling so provides relief and confidence that you can deal with more situations where you feel anxious.

7.     See a therapist.

·       While there are techniques to deal with anxiety, seeing a therapist is what has provided me the most long-term relief with underlying anxiety. I have seen therapists that I don’t like, however, so it is important to do some research on therapists in your insurance network before choosing one or several to test out. Do some research to find therapists that specialize in the type of treatment you are seeking. There are many types of therapy, and some are better suited to different issues. In the past, I’ve tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and the process of diving into my childhood didn’t provide relief for my daily anxiety. It made it worse, actually. More recently, I’ve been seeing a therapist who practices Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which is like a mindfulness-based approach to therapy that has helped me to live more easily and address my problems and feelings in the moment. It’s helped me tremendously over the past year or so and it’s the first time in my life that I’ve felt positively about my future. Finding a therapist that works for you can be an arduous process. You cannot benefit from a therapy if you don’t feel comfortable or like you can trust your therapist. You are, after all, putting in yourself in a very vulnerable situation, but one that will provide you so much relief through the process.


Finally, I want to say that there is always hope. There is always hope for controlling your anxiety, and even if you are in a situation where you feel like you’ve surrendered to it, you can recover from it. I know that first-hand. It’s not easy helping yourself, or seeking the help you might need. If you don’t have the strength now, that is OK. As humans, we are not perfect. Some days are dark but without the dark days we don’t appreciate the light ones. Although anxiety might feel like constant dark days, there will be a light one or a light moment where you will discover that you are stronger than your anxiety.

16 Self-Care Tips for Stressful Times

There is no cure for stress. And sometimes when we are in the thick of it we forget to pay attention to ourselves and we might forget to take care of ourselves. Or we remember to take care of ourselves but place that priority at the bottom of our list. This is where self-care comes in. Self care is so important, because, as the name indicates, it’s the act of caring for the self. Paying attention to and caring for yourselves is one of the most important things you can do. You cannot properly engage in whatever commitments you need to tend to unless your self is in solid, reliable condition.

When you’re stretched for time, or are struggling to give yourself the care you deserve, there are some simpler activities that you can engage in to help center and show care for yourself. These self-care activities are by no mans a cure, but they might help you to feel better. Even acknowledging the fact that you need to take five minutes for yourself will help. You are an important, living, breathing, loving being, and you need to take care of yourself too.

16 Self Care Tips

1. Go for a Walk

Pressing the pause button on whatever is occupying me and going for a walk has been one of my favorite activities since I was able to appreciate the therapy of fresh air my sophomore year of college. Walking as a practice helps both aerobically and also emotionally, as the experience of walking helps to clear and reset your mind. Here’s an article that details further the benefits of walking: How Nature Changes the Brain

2. Do a Craft

If you have a go-to stress reducing craft, then by all means go for that (knitting, cross-stitch, painting). Otherwise, you could kill two birds with one stone by making a DIY heated neck pillow (DIY Therapeutic Neck Pillows). I made one of these on a rainy day and then enjoyed my work by relishing the benefits of a heated pillow on my neck and shoulders. Next, I’m going to try painting. My therapist recommended “painting my feelings” and so I’m gonna give that a whirl.

3. Drink a cup (or more) of Chamomile Tea

Chamomile tea has the medicinal ability to calm your body, and in response, slow your mind. The herbal scent and taste can provide your body with ease, and maybe enough so to aid in combatting stress and anxiety. You can find chamomile tea at nearly any grocer, or you could even grow your own chamomile flowers and concoct your own take on an herbal remedy.

4. Hug a Friend or Wrap Yourself in a Weighted Blanket

Ask a friend for a hug, and hug them tightly. This one is rather self-explanatory, and the hormone released by hugging, Oxytocin, promotes positive feelings. Alternatively, wrap yourself in a weighted blanket. I’ve been using this one while sleeping for the past several months and it’s helped me fall asleep faster, calm my twitchy/restless legs, and feel more relaxed and rested in the mornings. You can find it on amazon and there are many sizes, colors, and weights to choose from to find one that’s just right for you.  Zonli Weighted Blanket.

5. Eat your Favorite Snack

We are (hopefully) all familiar with treating ourselves, and now is of course a time to continue doing so. So indulge in your favorite snack! Chocolate is a fine go-to, which many tout can actually improve your mood. Nutrient rich snacks will provide for longer-lasting benefits to your health, but a little sugar or chocolate in moderation won’t hurt either. If Reese’s cups are your guilty pleasure, let yourself have them.

6. Try Yoga

The ancient practice of yoga has been long acclaimed for its various health benefits. Aside from the athletic, flexibility, and other physical benefits, a yoga practice offers a set time you are committing to yourself. The focus on breathing and meditation in yoga also helps you to deal with stress and attain mental well-being. If a yoga class isn’t for you, or you want to try before you buy, I recommend Yoga with Adrienne (Yoga with Adrienne). She has tons of videos for all skill levels (including beginners!) as well as a variety of types of yoga. Check out her page and do some yoga from the comfort of your own home.

7. Write your Feelings in a Journal

Writing in a journal is a classic trick that will make you feel akin to the 12-year-old you that wrote your daily thoughts and activities in a diary. However, if you already like to write, I can almost guarantee that this practice will help you to feel less mentally cluttered. Try taking pen to paper and writing about how your feelings show up in your body. Expressing my feelings through words has helped me to create space between my feelings and my mind, and has helped me to understand that most of my thoughts are not as daunting as they initially seem. I hope you can find this same relieving effect.

8. Go for a Swim

Swimming isn’t for everyone, but if you know how to swim and feel comfortable going to your local pool, (or a natural body of water if you have the access!) I highly recommend it. I’ve been a swimmer my whole life, and although I had my frustrations with the sport, I cannot deny the peace and ease that literally washes over my body every time I jump into the pool. Contact with water has been shown to improve mood and instill a state of “blue mind” where you feel freed from your daily distractions and stimuli and enter a state where you can find peace.

9. Meditate

Meditation does not need to look like sitting on the floor in silence for 30 minutes whilst thinking about nothing. This mental image, what I thought “meditation” is supposed to look like, is what kept me from trying it for so many years. My current therapist was the one to finally convince me to try the practice. Having a background in science and health, I was intrigued by the potential meditation has for changing the way the brain works, and receives and relays information. I like to use this app: Insight Timer Meditation App, as you can select how long you have to meditate and go from there. (Combine walking and meditating for a 2-for-1-stress buster). My favorite meditation guide is Sarah Blondin. I recommend any and every meditation by her. Some meditations are as short as 5 minutes! And I know everyone can make 5 minutes for a meditation. Another good (and free!) app for meditation is Headspace Meditation App.

10. Take a Bath with Epsom Salt

I first tried taking a bath with Epsom salt after it was recommended to me after a massage several years ago. Epsom salt is lauded to relieve aches and pains and also aid in relaxation. If the act of taking a bath was not relaxing enough, adding Epsom Salt to your bath will take it to another level. And once your bath is over, your body will reap the calming benefits well into the next day or two. Further the benefits of your bath by lighting a lavender or other serenely-scented candle, like this one I recently snagged for a bargain at Target (Be Peaceful Candle). Engaging additional senses in your stress relieving practice will increase the benefits you feel. Taking a bath is particularly helpful if, like me, with stress you tend to clench certain muscles or parts of your body. Relaxing your body will help to relax your mind.

11. Scream into your Pillow

I just recently saw the movie Wild, where, during her hike along the Pacific Crest Trail, Reese Witherspoon screams into the void of the wilderness. This scream looked absolutely exhilarating, and I thought, how could I practice that kind of release? If you don’t have a “wilderness” or a “void” handy to scream into, instead try screaming into your pillow. This is a quick fix, but boy does it feel fantastic.

12. Go for a Run

This practice isn’t for everyone, but I do know many people that tout the mentally clarifying effects of running. If it’s for you, you know what to do. If not, you don’t need to run for long! As little as 10 minutes can get your heart beating and your brain pumping those feel-good endorphins.

13. Read

Reading a book is still one of my favorite ways to distract myself from stress or anxiety. It might not stand as a healing practice, but sometimes a practice like reading a book can help you slow down and center yourself enough to engage in another, more healing practice. A light, yet captivating story makes for a good stress-reducing read. Conversely, return to a book you know you enjoyed and relive the magic all over again.

14. Laugh

Laughing always makes me feel good, or at least better. If you have the time, several shows that I go to for some laughs are the Office, Parks and Recreation, or Arrested Development. Episodes are usually only about 20 minutes! The act of laughing releases Endorphins (natural pain killers), Serotonin (prevents agitation and worrying), and Dopamine (creates blissful feeling), amongst other feel-good hormones.

15. Call or Talk to a Friend

Call a friend, and do more listening than talking. I have found that when I can be there for a friend, it helps to distract me from getting in my own head or magnifying my own problems. And so, calling a friend might not be a cure for your stress and anxiety but listening to a friendly voice, and knowing that you are still strong enough to help them will help you to feel at ease.

16. Take a Nap

If you are exhausted, let yourself take a nap! Being tired is your body’s way of telling you that you need sleep, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about indulging that. If it’s the middle of the day or light outside, try this eye mask, which has done wonders for my nap game (Imak Eye Mask). Use a weighted blanket for an even better nap experience.